A little over a year ago, I heard a fascinating segment on NPR’s “All Things Considered” that discussed people’s perceptions of themselves and our belief that we are essentially who we will be tomorrow, when, in fact, we are all well aware that we have changed substantially over the past ten years. Yet we neglect this fact when estimating how much we will change in the future, especially in terms of our values, personalities, and preferences. (To check out the original story, go to http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2013/01/03/168567019/you-cant-see-it-but-youll-be-a-different-person-in-10-years)
As I approach 30, I am so thankful that I am not who I was at 20... but do I really like who I have become? The good news is that if I don’t like “me”, I am far from done with change. But what I want to know is, how do I find contentment in the NOW of who I am? How do I embrace “Emily” as I walk into 30, especially in terms of my body
When I was in my early 20’s, I would scoff at the older women around me who could not just let some things go. I would vow that when I “got to be their age”, I would do this...and that... and never be like THEM. But as my body begins to become increasingly resistant to my nudging about staying thin; as I begin to find grey strands in my hair, I realize the allure of trying to stay young. I can empathize with feeling the need to compete with younger women who’s bodies have not been “compromised” by a life growing inside of them. I can understand how we can get reeled into desperation to be anything but our own age. How do I embrace aging with grace, dignity, and humor- because surely my body will never go in the other direction!
Here are three things I’ve had to let go of in order to find contentment with who I am NOW, and begin the process of aging gracefully.
I have had to let go of:
1. Clothes that are too small.
After having a three babies, I have had to embrace the way my body feels and fits into clothes. I am 3 sizes larger than I was before I started having children. And the healthiest thing I ever did for myself was get rid of the size 4’s sitting in my closet. The daily taunting of what I “used to look like” wasn’t healthy for me anymore. If I lose a little more weight, I can buy myself something then, no need to hold onto what “used to be”.
2. Clothes that are too big.
I found I was keeping clothes I didn’t like just because they were a larger size, “in case I got fat again”. Yes, I would actually say that to myself. One: I was never really fat. Two: Even if I did get fat, I don’t like these clothes, so why would I keep them to wear? I hadn’t realized that it was a form of punishment- a way that I could threaten myself into trying to lose weight. My fat clothes had to go.
3. Exercising to lose weight.
Losing weight was never difficult for me... until I actually needed to lose weight. When I was already in shape, I could go for a run three times a week and maintain a great body. When I weighed 150 pounds after having my third baby and did almost no exercise while pregnant (I know, I know, my own fault), losing weight is a lot harder than a little exercise here and there. I have to think about exercise on a larger scale: whole body health, feeling good, increased energy, higher quality of life. It makes exercising worth it, even if the pounds don’t melt off.
There are many other things I have done, but these are the three that stand out to me as a starting point for graceful aging- I refuse to become a woman who is unhappy with WHO I AM NOW. I won’t ever look like I did at 20 again. And that’s okay. I’m not supposed to. Instead, I will begin to seek ways to embrace 30... and 35... and 50 with dignity.
As I approach 30, I am so thankful that I am not who I was at 20... but do I really like who I have become? The good news is that if I don’t like “me”, I am far from done with change. But what I want to know is, how do I find contentment in the NOW of who I am? How do I embrace “Emily” as I walk into 30, especially in terms of my body
When I was in my early 20’s, I would scoff at the older women around me who could not just let some things go. I would vow that when I “got to be their age”, I would do this...and that... and never be like THEM. But as my body begins to become increasingly resistant to my nudging about staying thin; as I begin to find grey strands in my hair, I realize the allure of trying to stay young. I can empathize with feeling the need to compete with younger women who’s bodies have not been “compromised” by a life growing inside of them. I can understand how we can get reeled into desperation to be anything but our own age. How do I embrace aging with grace, dignity, and humor- because surely my body will never go in the other direction!
Here are three things I’ve had to let go of in order to find contentment with who I am NOW, and begin the process of aging gracefully.
I have had to let go of:
1. Clothes that are too small.
After having a three babies, I have had to embrace the way my body feels and fits into clothes. I am 3 sizes larger than I was before I started having children. And the healthiest thing I ever did for myself was get rid of the size 4’s sitting in my closet. The daily taunting of what I “used to look like” wasn’t healthy for me anymore. If I lose a little more weight, I can buy myself something then, no need to hold onto what “used to be”.
2. Clothes that are too big.
I found I was keeping clothes I didn’t like just because they were a larger size, “in case I got fat again”. Yes, I would actually say that to myself. One: I was never really fat. Two: Even if I did get fat, I don’t like these clothes, so why would I keep them to wear? I hadn’t realized that it was a form of punishment- a way that I could threaten myself into trying to lose weight. My fat clothes had to go.
3. Exercising to lose weight.
Losing weight was never difficult for me... until I actually needed to lose weight. When I was already in shape, I could go for a run three times a week and maintain a great body. When I weighed 150 pounds after having my third baby and did almost no exercise while pregnant (I know, I know, my own fault), losing weight is a lot harder than a little exercise here and there. I have to think about exercise on a larger scale: whole body health, feeling good, increased energy, higher quality of life. It makes exercising worth it, even if the pounds don’t melt off.
There are many other things I have done, but these are the three that stand out to me as a starting point for graceful aging- I refuse to become a woman who is unhappy with WHO I AM NOW. I won’t ever look like I did at 20 again. And that’s okay. I’m not supposed to. Instead, I will begin to seek ways to embrace 30... and 35... and 50 with dignity.