In the middle of the afternoon.
On a Thursday. With Jonah sitting on my lap because he is refusing to take his nap.
It's been one of those days filled with things just not going as planned, and I hate plans being interrupted.
It all started when Jonah decided to wake up at 3:30 this morning, for no particular reason. He was simply happy to be awake. I tried to feed him and realized he wasn't hungry, so I held him until he became drowsy again, around 4:45. He fell back asleep, but I, unfortunately, did not. I washed the dishes, made a pot of coffee, and began to wrap my head around reorganizing our daily schedule.
Since having Jonah, I still feel a little bit off, as though I am just stumbling through our days, hoping to find some kind of rhythm. I need to have markers-milestones-so I can see progress. Without something to check off my list, I will end a week with nothing but disappointment because I feel like I "didn't get anything done".
I have also been trying to fit working out into my daily routine so that I can work off this baby weight. It has been over 7 months and I still can only wear about half of my clothes. With Titus, I lost most of the weight quickly without really trying, so I thought that this pregnancy would be similar. I was wrong. I started slightly heavier when I got pregnant with Jonah, but felt like a did a better job of watching my weight through out the pregnancy (I put on 35 lbs. this time around instead of the 45 I gained with Titus). I thought that because I had been more mindful, I would drop all of the weight from the second pregnancy within a few months. WRONG. I'm getting close (5 pounds from where I started with Jonah, 10 pounds from where I started with Titus, and 25 pounds heavier than my wedding day (which I realize is no longer a realistic goal). I'll be happy with 5 more down.
As an aside, I often feel guilty for putting in personal time to work out when I am home with the boys. If I was still teaching I wouldn't be allowed to give myself an hour to work out during my work day, so why should I get it now? But that is an entirely different topic. I bought a jogging stroller so that running could be a family affair, but now that summer has reared it's ugly head in the Valley, I just can't go for a run at 8:00am, our usual time. The creeper in the run down Chevelle who slowed down to watch me run the other morning was the tipping point for my decision to join the YMCA. With kids in tow, I went down to give them more money than I really wanted to, but felt a wave of excitement when they told me that childcare is FREE when you workout. TWO HOURS MAX. Two hours? I'm excited about 30 minutes of alone time! And then comes the guilt again... Why do I want to be left alone so badly? Why can I not be content? I pleaded to God for these children, but the thought of listening to my IPOD on the treadmill is my idea of bliss. GUILT TRIP. Again, another topic for another day.
So, I went for a run and then went home to put Jonah down for a nap. Titus threw a temper tantrum when I asked him to use the potty. He hit me and I yelled at him. Then he cried when I yelled at him. Another FAIL.
I am in desperate need for adult companionship since Erik is far, far away and will be for another week, so I called my mom to meet up for lunch. Lunch was wonderful and I was reminded about how great my kids are. They are polite, well mannered, and so patient. Titus simply giggled at the misbehaving child next to us. I'm not sure if he was laughing at the child or the fact that the parents were pretending they did not notice his unruliness. Either way, it was the bright spot of my day. It all went down hill from there.
I had the brilliant idea of going to the sporting goods store to find Father's Day gifts. When we got to the mall, I decided spur of the moment (always a bad idea) to take my ring in for a cleaning. As we left, I could smell that Jonah needed a change, so we headed to the restroom. Holy poop. To top it off, Jonah has become fond of rolling around during diaper changings. Holy poop EVERYWHERE now. Luckily, I carry antibacterial face wipes and was able to give him and the changing table a quick sponge bath. Jonah is now pantless, but I am determined to get those Father's Day gifts. Getting out of the house was difficult enough, so I refuse to be denied this shopping trip. As I walk out of the bathroom, I see my mother (who stayed at the stroller with Titus) fall over on top of Titus as she was getting him out of the stroller. Titus was not hurt in anyway, but you wouldn't know it with a glance at his large tears. I take Titus to the potty, where he is doing a wonderful job considering it is post-fall. I FAIL again and forget to angle his junk the exact, correct, way, and instead of peeing on the toilet, he instead pees on the back of his pants.
By now, most mothers would leave. I should have, but I'm stubborn. With the boys in tow, we are on a mission for gifts.
As we are walking into the store, I look down at my hand (with the newly cleaned wedding bands) and notice a gap where a DIAMOND USED TO BE. Damn. Back to the jewelry store. They have to ship my rings off. Luckily, it wasn't the solitaire, but one of the small diamonds in my wedding band. They were able to find it after straining through the dirty jewelry cleaner. LOVELY. I decide that the day is done and we leave without a glance at gifts.